Solace (Levi x Reader)
by Scotia Daniel
Summary: You tried to recall when this had all started, but you couldn't remember if it had been from a sparring match, a dispute gone wrong, the looks you both tossed at each other across the room whenever you were near each other, or all of that combined. You knew in the back of your mind it was all of them, a build up of emotions that eventually just snapped and lead to your odd routine.


The flicker of the fire on your candle was the only form of light you had as you walked nearly blindly threw the dark hallway. Even without a candle, however, you knew the way.

The old, wooden door came into view just as your candle snuffed out from the cold air. You press your hand against the door, feeling how cold and rotting to the flesh it was from age. You don't bother knocking, you knew it was unlocked. For you.

You slowly open the door and step in. As soon as you closed it, calloused hands grabbed at your waist and pulled you close. Your captor pressed his cold lips to your warm ones and you immediately melted into his touch, dropping your candle.

You knew it was wrong to find your way in the middle of the night to Captain Levi's room, but not wrong enough to fully stop you. It wasn't just the age gap between you two, him being at least eight years your senior; but the fact that he was still your superior and your captain. But in the end, nothing stopped you.

His lips moved with yours with a sense of desperation and need that left you hungry. You could feel his body lightly trembling against yours, coat gone and a few straps unbuckled to show the muscles under his white shirt.

Levi rested his back to the wall, your figure leaning into him. With trembling fingers he slid off the soft fabric of your pajama shirt, his hands immediately cupping your breasts and flips your positions so you were against the wall instead.

His lips left scorching kisses along your neck, him grazing his teeth that made you hiss in pleasure. You reached over to unbutton his shirt, but he grasped your wrists and pushed them away. You growled into the kiss and clasped onto his shirt anyways, popping off a few buttons.

Levi bit down on your collar bone and you yelp in pain and pleasure. He grabs you harshly around the waist and yanks you up, pressing your back harder into the wall and sucks and kisses the skin around your collar and breasts.

You wrap your legs around his torso out of instinct, biting your lip hard to not moan, breaking skin and tasting the metallic flavor of blood in your mouth. He bit hard enough to leave marks, but not hard enough to bleed. Levi held your wrists to the wall, leaving you defenseless.

You tried to recall when this had all started, but you couldn't remember if it had been from a sparring match, a dispute gone wrong, the looks you both tossed at each other across the room whenever you were near each other...or all of that combined. You knew in the back of your mind it was all of them, a build up of emotions that eventually just snapped and lead to your odd routine.

He lifted you away from the wall, and without breaking contact with you, stumbled over to his bed and dropped you onto your back. The bed lightly squeaked, the softness more welcoming than the hard wall moments ago.

You opened your eyes to see Levi strip himself of his shirt, eyeing the damage you had done to the buttons. The look on his face wasn't mad, but in the moonlight you could almost see the sadness and fear in his eyes that you knew you only got to see.

He was on top of you in a moment, but you flipped him over and straddled him as you undid the rest of his harness and straps. You pulled them off in one swift move along with his boots before you were on top of him again.

Levi sat up and forcibly grabbed your chin and kissed you, the taste of frustration on his lips. You pulled away to breathe and he flipped you back over onto the bed, his muscles twitching with desire. He pulled your pants off and you sat up to touch him but were slapped for your actions.

You struggled against his grip, getting a hit back before he pinned you to his bed and kissed you not with a sense of anger or frustration, but of sincerity and passion. The new feeling behind the kiss surprised you, your muscles relaxing from shock and Levi dropped your wrists to hold your waist.

The rest of your clothes were discarded somewhere in the room to be long forgotten for the night, and he was inside of you before you could blink. It was rough and painful at first, as it usually was.

Levi's body glimmered with sweat as he hitched his hips and grinds into you, his body continuing to tremble. You ignore the pain and his weight on top of you, brushing your fingers through his hair and lightly kiss the top of his ears soothingly.

Your dance in the dark was nothing new, and not one of love. Between the looks you gave each other, the snide remarks and the constant hand to hand combat; Levi had snapped and kissed you. Perhaps you had been just as frustrated and upset as he was, because you didn't give a fight and were happy to give in one night in a heated argument that turned into rough sex.

At first you both had agreed to never talk about it again, but slowly you'd find your way into his room and the dance would continue, neither one of you complaining. You'd always agree it would never happen again, but it always did. He became your dirty secret, and you became the relief he needed to not lose his mind in the shitty world you live in.

His thrusts became more sporadic, his face completely buried in the crook of your neck as he left breathless kisses against your skin. Levi always started this off focusing on himself, but being lost in the ecstasy he'd remember the dance was meant for two and focused on your pleasures as well. Although, you sensed hearing you chant his name was more for his pleasure in the end of it all.

"Levi," you would whisper into his ear and feel the tightness within you continue to twist and turn, knowing you would break any moment. You had counted two orgasms on his part, but he wasn't satisfied; something you weren't used to. Once he was done he was done and that was that, you would watch him face his back to you whether you had felt finished or not. But tonight was different.

You clawed at his back, your fingernails digging into his skin and leaving scratches that bled all along his back. No one ever questioned the marks with how often he was in battle, and you always saw them as a reminder that he was yours even if it was a secret.

You knew he wouldn't lose his job, but you would for sure be kicked from the military. And even though Levi never declared he cared, he never spoke a word and you maintained your status. Was it for your own good? Or the fact he'd lose the woman he slept with and needed in order to cope?

He continued to slam harder and harder until you were practically whimpering his name into his ear. His fingers dug into your hips, knowing they would leave bruises that would last the rest of the week. You felt yourself explode, your vision seeing white. Levi collapsed onto you and you rubbed his back, not caring if you got blood on your hands or not. You felt his muscles twitch, his back rise and fall as he caught his breath.

You hummed to him the song your mother sang to you as a child, gently caressing the heat of his skin. This was all a horrible idea, but in the end you really didn't mind being used if it meant him finding at least a little happiness, if he could really call it that. Things had been harder than ever with the more recent deaths of his comrades and soldiers, and although he never showed his grief and anger in public, he took it out on you.

You felt something wet on your chest and looked down shocked to find Levi crying. His eyes stared out into nothing, the tears streaming down his cheeks with no signs of stopping. You had never seen him cry, and the scene left you feeling numb and empty.

You continued to hum and stroke his hair and skin, feeling yourself tear up as well. You both were feeling the pain you wanted to ignore, the pain you took out on each other. But even then, all you could focus on was the broken man who hugged you limply as though you were the answers to life itself. And you hoped that, in the end of all of this, if you couldn't bring him solace; then he can find it one day in the fields that future generations would play in where there were no fears and worries of titans and love would be found as common as the wildflowers they would pick.


End file.
